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Contrast Gives Birth For Desire: Seeing Anxiety As A Catalyst For Change

I am no stranger to feelings of anxiety. We’ve gotten to know each other really well since childhood. I’ve been medicated for it but eventually I learned alternative methods to manage it and I’d like to share with you some of my process.


Anxiety is our body’s natural response to stress. It’s designed to protect us yet oftentimes we feel unsafe and overwhelmed with these feelings. The good news is, we have the ability to transform anxiety into something more useful but first we have to recognize that we have the power to do so.


The first step is awareness of what is happening. “I am aware of how I am feeling and I honor my emotions. I know that my body and mind are protecting me at all times. I am in control of how I feel. I welcome more peace and calm into my body and mind. I feel more relaxed and at ease. I am present in this moment and all is well.


I’ve been listening to the teachings of Abraham Hicks for a few years now and have resonated deeply with her channeled messages. One concept she shares a lot is that “contrast gives birth to desire.” I started to explore this idea within my own experience. Life is full of duality; hot and cold, light and dark, masculine and feminine, fast and slow, death and rebirth. We can’t have one without the other.


When we know what we don’t want, it brings clarity to what we do want. When we realize what we don’t want, we can begin to shift our attention to the desired experience of what we do want.

Acknowledging how we feel (without becoming too attached) is the first step in taking our power back. Example: “I’m not liking how I am feeling right now. I don’t like this experience. I am feeling anxious/stressed/overwhelmed/uncomfortable/pain/etc”


Exploring the desire of how we do want to feel and doing our best to build the momentum towards it. Example: “How do I want to feel? What do I want to experience more of? What do I need to do to feel the way I want to feel?”


This takes patience and practice to master, as with all things, but it is possible to transcend anxiety and feel more empowered to feel the way we want to feel and to give us more grace to move through the times that don’t feel the way we want.


It’s easy for us to stay with these unwanted feelings for too long, we start ruminating on it, worrying about it, overanalyzing ourselves and the situation, etc. When this momentum begins, it’s common for the downward spiral to escalate quickly.


The next step is to practice acceptance. If we are struggling to shift our attention we can try to accept the moment we are experiencing, to remember that everything is temporary and this feeling will pass. Example: “Even though this isn’t how I want to feel, I choose to accept this moment for what it is. I love myself deeply and I will get through this.”


When we detach ourselves in this way, we starve the ego of this negative momentum and it begins to lose it’s strength. We don’t need to know why we are experiencing anxiety. Sometimes it makes sense and other times it doesn’t. We don’t need to know.


Accepting everything as it is helps stop the momentum and give us an opportunity to shift into a more desired experience. things as they are helps create some space to allow your focus to shift on to thoughts and feelings you do want to experience.


In these moments of practicing acceptance, I will usually choose to sit down in meditation to help me hold the space of just being – to observe without judgement. We recognize that “I am not the thoughts inside my head, I am the one who is listening.” Step into the power of the Witness.

Once we are in a place of acceptance for what is, we can begin to shift the focus and build momentum in a more positive direction.


This can feel similar to distraction in some ways, and sometimes distraction is necessary, but being deliberate in what the distraction is will make all the difference. It’s fine to distract ourselves with something like a movie, book, etc but what happens when the movie is over or you finish the book? Are these unwanted thoughts just going to repeat the same pattern?

This is the importance of intention as a pathway to transcendence.


The concept that Abraham teaches about contrast giving birth to desire is like a catalyst that propels us into each now moment with more grace and ease. This awareness is what will contribute to the long-term lasting benefits of reprogramming our thought patterns and belief systems.


Example: “If I am aware of how I don’t want to feel, then what is it that I do want to feel?” Our thoughts create momentum, they are a direct response to how we feel in each moment. Shifting our focus isn’t always the easiest thing to do, so remember to be gentle and kind to yourself.

Consider making a list of things that bring you peace and joy when you are in a good head space that you can come back to when you need it most. Write yourself an uplifting message, as you would a dear friend, that you can read as a reminder of your resilience.


We are creators by nature, we are life by design. Life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us, because we are life. Our thoughts and body is the physical manifestation in which we experience this human life. We are more than our body, mind, and thoughts…our True Self is the one observing it all. We get to choose how we want to feel.


Contrast will always exist. It is necessary, and without it we would not have a clear vision of the life we want to live. It’s like two parts of the same coin, which together make a whole. Contrast is needed but it doesn’t have to control our life. We can choose to see it as a blessing which gives us a clear direction of where we desire to be. When we are more intentional in choosing our thoughts we are choosing to do what we need to do to feel better.


Through this process I am able to feel more empowered and in control of my anxiety rather than it controlling me. I don’t know if I will ever not experience anxiety but I do know that I am better equipped to handle these anxious feelings when they come. It all starts with believing you can.


I hope these words support you on some level. If you are seeking additional support with anxiety relief and want to discuss healing on a deeper level, don’t hesitate to reach out! I am here for you!


With love,


Danielle Marie



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